Category: Life

I wrote this piece for Mountain Sledder Magazine but it has some life lessons that apply even if you are not a “snowmobiler”, so I’ve shared it onto the blog. Life is short, make the most of every moment my friends – sooner or later the shadows fall on every mountain top.

Link is below:

Ride on, Gord

 

Lets be clear, my wife is going to kill me for posting this picture.  She wont think it’s very flattering and I’m sure she will note that her hair isn’t perfect.  My faithful readers know that my wife is often a large part of my ramblings so she may even think that this is going to poke fun at her – but she is wrong.  The fact is, this picture is one of the most amazingly beautiful images I have ever seen, and I will tell you why.
My wife has recently been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, or MS.  This is an autoimmune disease in which the body attacks the central nervous system, damaging the myelin sheath that protects the nerves and thereby limiting and impairing the nerves ability to transmit messages to the muscles.  About three years ago my wife was on the losing end of this battle with MS, only suspecting this was the cause of her finding herself bedridden without warning on many days.  She started having trouble with her job that she normally excelled at – she went from an awarding winning top performer to someone who couldn’t make it in to work because she needed to lay in a dark room in complete silence, hoping and praying that the pain would end. With endless tests and doctors appointments, trips to see specialists and new medication trials and failures, there was still no clear answers.  MS can be a difficult disease to get a firm diagnosis on as the symptoms can be so different between each and every person afflicted with it.  In fact, they call it the snowflake disease because no two sufferers are exactly alike. So while time marched on and outside help didn’t seem to be coming (not for lack of trying!) my wife slowly slid down into a dark hole of despair, her balance growing worse by the day.  Her fear of falling led to more time wasted simply sitting in a bed or the tub, waiting for an answer that wasnt there.  That all changed one day when a  neurologist told her something that she hadn’t heard before; something that resonated inside her and changed both of our lives forever. He told her that she had to “lose the weight or lose your legs.” She needed to get moving.  She needed to exercise more, not less.  The more she thought about all of our outdoor adventures, hiking, taking the dogs to the lake, snowmobiling, camping – all of it made her determined; losing the use of her legs was not an option. She decided that she wanted to fight – and fight she did.  She joined a bootcamp that was willing to work with her limitations, letting her push at her own pace.  She started walking, 15 and 20kms a day quite often.  She changed our eating habits and I found myself cooking better, with whole foods, no more processed crap out of a box.  This journey of diet and exercise deserves a blog on its own and that day may come, but for now I won’t go into great detail; this is about the photo.
The improvements came a little at a time.  Having gone off work on long-term disability, this fight was now her full-time job.  At bootcamp she could measure herself and quantify her improvements easily, counting pushups and timing laps, but the real changes were at home.  She could stay up late to watch a movie with our family and not have to worry whether that would mean she would be bedridden the next day.  We could go out for dinner in a noisy restaurant and stay long enough to enjoy visiting without having to run for the dark quiet of home.  As an added bonus, the pounds began to fall off of both of us.  To be supportive of her I had signed on to this new lifestyle 100% and it has changed me as well, again another story for another time.  Slowly she found herself able to get back to doing the things she loved.  That’s not to say there aren’t bad days of course.  They still happen occasionally, and we still have to be careful with the stairs – she has bounced down them enough times already.  But for now, with a conclusive diagnosis of MS finally in hand and with her most recent MRI showing no further damage, we can live for today.  She continues to fight everyday knowing that the physical health is only part of it – the mental health is also important and keeping active is a great way to stay positive.  My wife has become the most driven and positive person I have ever met, overachieving at every turn and surprising almost everyone along the way.  They say that a picture speaks 1000 words and the moment I saw this picture it became a symbol of this entire voyage we’ve been on.  It shows how far my wife has come, from lying in a dark and silent room, curtains closed, dreading the 12 steps to the bathroom to this: Actual running.  It shows the most amazing, focused  person I know doing something that she shouldn’t be able to do.  It shows the result of literal blood, sweat and tears. It shows a fighter.  And I couldn’t be more proud.

It was the summer of 2005 when we were visiting a close friend down in Kamloops BC, about 6 hours drive from our home.  In the backyard that our friend shared with his neighbor was this scrawny little pup that was, for the most part, neglected by her owners.  This pup was the friendliest little thing we had ever seen, with a complete love for people – even though people are the beings that neglected her to the point of near starvation, her ribs visible all down her gaunt frame.  We approached the owners and offered to take her but they insisted that they would take care of her.  When we left we ensured that there was some food on hand and that our friend would continue to feed her, as he had been, in the owners absence.  On the drive home we talked about the pup, wondering if we should have stolen her even, but we decided that with our buddy watching out for her she was better off than in a shelter at least so we left the situation alone.
A couple of weeks after we had gotten home the phone rang with that fateful call; it was our friend from Kamloops.  “Those guys dont want the dog” he said.  “They told me to tell you that if you dont take her they will get rid of her.”  Not wanting to know what they meant by “get rid of her” we quickly loaded up the truck and headed back down for the five hour drive to save the pup.  Her name was Kita and at this point in time we had no way of knowing just how lucky we were for this chance series of events.
Once we got her home she very quickly bonded with us, eager to please after the months of neglect that had equaled her puppyhood.  Carla, my wife, used pieces of hotdog as rewards and had her trained to do all of the basic commands inside of one day.  Kita the wonderdog was earning her place in our hearts already.  A trip to the vet gave her a clean bill of health and he told us that she hadnt been spayed so we should plan for that once she heated.  He also warned that the poor upbringing may cause later health issues that were impossible to predict, and may in fact shorten her life.  As for the breed, she was anybodys guess.  Possibly a shephard cross, maybe some retriever; She was so skinny that the possibility of there being some greyhound in her was even mentioned.  Whatever she was, she amazed us everyday with her love, good nature and willingness to learn.
For awhile there was nothing to do but let her put on some weight and settle in with our kids and other dog.  And thats when we noticed the brain damage, or at least thats what I thought she had.  Every now and then we would observe her running frantically in circles, head turned sideways, staring straight up in the sky and barking.  As much as I looked, I could find no reason for this – there was never a bird or anything visible that would justify this insanity.  We honestly figured that being starved may have stunted her brain development.  Then one very quiet afternoon I DID notice something when she started her escapades:  the faint rumble of a jet taking off at the distant airport.  Once we started to pay attention, she did her crazy circles right on schedule with the airport departure flights.  We then realized that the yard that she had been locked in for her puppy months was very close to the airport in Kamloops.  The assumption is that the planes over head were one of her few sources of entertainment and stimulation when she was small, so she “played” with the planes when she heard them.  Although it lessened over the years this strange behaviour never ended completely, with Kita chasing invisible planes she could hear in the distance right up to her last day.  She even taught this ritual to one of our other puppies in later years; I always wished I could hear her thoughts for this.
Over the years Kita quickly learned her place in our “pack” as the protector of the kids.  Whenever they were going for a walk or hike in the woods, we sent Kita along and had no worries that she would die before she would let anything happen to her “people”.  She tangled with her share of animals on our acreage as well, with occasional trips to the vet for patching up after run ins with a bear, a fox and a porcupine.   Her absolute trust in people amazed even the vets as she would simply look for you to say “its ok Keeds, you’re a good girl” and then she would lie there perfectly still for stitches or quill removal, whichever the situation warranted.

As life went on, the adventures continued and Kita took it all in stride.  She loved chasing sticks and would fetch them until she would drop if you let her, her toys taking precedence over almost anything.  Anything, that is, except food.  As a side effect of being starved when she was younger, Kita never did fully understand that yes, there would in fact be another meal coming.  Some dogs can be free fed, just taking a few bites when hungry, leaving thier bowl partially full at all times.  This was not how Kita approached it.  Her mentality was to err on the side of caution by wolfing down every last crumb in her dish and then check for more.  Sometimes she found “more” in another dogs bowl or, if we were unfortunate enough to leave the food bin open, she hit the jackpot and could merrily pack away a week or two’s worth of food in one sitting.   I guess she figured you just never know.
When picking a dog we always say you have to research the breed and pick one that suits your lifestyle.  Too many times you see a dog that is completely out of its element, fighting its instincts and physical attributes to fit in with a lifestyle it wasnt meant for.  Obviously we didnt have the luxury of being selective with Kita, but if we had we dont know how we could have made her fit our outdoor lifestyle any better.  Kita was so perfectly at home with us out in the bush, be it Spring, Summer, Fall or Winter.  Hiking, snowmobiling, quad rides, camping, berry picking, Christmas tree hunting: she did it all and loved every second of it.  Kita trusted her people to never hurt her and as such would ride anywhere or do anything we asked her to:  on the quad, on the snowmobile, in a skimmer towed behind the snowmobile, she was up for any challenge. At the lake Kita would often join Carla in the canoe, sitting in the bow for a morning paddle,  watching the sun rise while the kids were still in bed.  She knew that when she got back to the campsite she would be rewarded with campfire bacon and toast.  I mean Kita not Carla of course, although Carla never shied away from the bacon either.
The soft side of Kita was also unmistakable as her empathy for everyone shone through.  If you were upset or not feeling well she would lick your hand and lean against you just to let you know she was there.  If you were in bed she would try to weasel under the covers in a not very subtle attempt at being sneaky.  If a child cried she would be noticeably upset and would not settle down until you told her it was okay.  She didnt always know what was going on but if you werent happy, she wasnt happy.
All was not perfection with this glorious beast however.  She had a few small quirks that we grew to love as just being part of her charm.   She never stopped wolfing her food down.  She was always oily which, while it gave her a nice shiny coat, made her smell very strongly of “dog”.  And lastly, she had this little habit of needing to poop about 15 seconds into a walk, wherever that happened to be.  Everytime.
And now our time together has come to an end.  Through failing eyes, failing ears, failing teeth and failing joints our superdog was tired from a life well lived on this planet.  She was able to handle everything that life threw at her but, like the rest of us, time is the ultimate adversary and Kitas battle was a gloriously fought one.  She is now resting peacefully high atop a mountain, overlooking the valley of lakes and rivers in one of her favourite areas, with her stick by her side.  She exceeded expectations and gave us thirteen amazing years of love and friendship.

RIP adventure dog.  We love you.
 

How many times have you heard someone say “I have lost all faith in humanity?” How many people yearn for the “good old days” of people helping people instead of the egocentric, self-serving examples of human action that we see far too often in today’s world? Sometimes it seems like we are alone in this life, with very few people who are willing to help in a time of need, willing to sacrifice their own time for the good of others. Sometimes it seems like there is very little “good news” to be found. And then there is this last week.
As the fires in BC rage on, tens of thousands of people have been forced from their homes, sometimes on very short notice and leaving with minimal supplies to head to neighboring communities, hoping to find a bed or a place to park. Being evacuated from your home, disrupting your family, your job, your life – not knowing when you can go back or if you will even have a home to go back to, has to be an incredibly stressful time. In times of tragedy, Mr Rogers once famously said to “Look for the helpers – you will always find people who are helping”. This past week one certainly does not have to look very hard to find them, and the people stepping up to help have left me to sit here in a state of disbelief – quite frankly I am in awe.
In the recent days we have seen people open up their homes and yards to displaced families, taking in strangers without any expectations of compensation; Taking them in simply because they needed somewhere to stay. We have seen campgrounds open their gates, waving fees and organizing food drives for people with RVs. We have seen hotels offer free or deeply discounted rooms for other evacuees. Restaurants, pubs and catering services have also come on board with offers to help those in need. Child minding businesses have offered free daycare for children who have had to leave their homes behind.
Pets and livestock from the affected areas have not been forgotten, with literal heroes driving into danger with trailers, hauling horses out to safety, setting up areas to keep them and dispersing literal tonnes of donated hay out to feed them. Shelters began to pop up for smaller pets as well, with dogs, cats, birds and other loved animals being fostered or looked after by volunteers, with food and supplies being donated by pet stores and other animal loving people.
As the most basic human requirements of food and shelter are being taken care of, even more people jumped in with offers to help make the evacuees stay a little more comfortable – Laundry services have been donated, Hair and beauty salons are offering free haircuts and styles to the evacuees, Gyms have offered the use of showers and equipment and delivery companies have been taking donated goods and foods to areas as needed – again for no charge.
We have Mobile mechanics and Mobile tire repair people out and about, fixing peoples vehicles so their cars and trucks are available to them, many times using parts and services donated from other (potentially competitive) businesses. We have people loading up their trucks with fuel and heading out on the highway, topping up anyone who has been caught between gas stations without enough in the tank to make it to their destination. We have people setting up road side stands, offering free snacks and drinks to weary travellers that have been on the road for many hours. We even have mobile septic companies travelling around to empty the tanks of people who are staying in their RVs in areas with no available sani-dump.
We have seen individuals from other Provinces load up trailers with food, clothing, water and fuel and drive for hours, or even days to get to the evacuations centers and distribute these goods. Some of these people travelled from areas such as Fort McMurray, who knows the horrors of a fire and evacuation all too well and perhaps still have not fully recovered from the events of last summer – yet they are finding the time and energy to head West and help others.
Radio and television crews, news teams and on air personalities have cancelled holidays and thrown the shift schedules out the window, working endlessly to bring us up to date and accurate information about the fires, the evacuations, the alerts and the highway closures.
And then there are the front line people – I honestly could write a book on these people who already work to protect us on a day to day basis and are now stretched to the breaking point, working tirelessly to save lives and save towns. The countless volunteers at the check in centers for the evacuees. The Firefighters, RCMP officers, Search and Rescue members, Armed Forces, Ham radio operators, Volunteer fire departments, Paramedics, First responders, traffic control – the list goes on and there really is not much left to be said but THANK YOU ALL.
I am sure I am overlooking other examples and if you feel left off of this list I am truly sorry, there are no intentional omissions in this little dissertation – I merely wish to point out how humbled I am by the groundswell of goodwill we are witnessing. You make me proud to be a part of this community, you make me proud to be a part of this Province and you make me proud to be a part of this Country.

Oh Canada!

Picture yourself standing in a large room filled with 1000 other people, and anyone who has ever lost their job is asked to sit down.  Now anyone who has had a divorce or bad breakup, if they would please sit down as well.  Maybe you have a sick child that kept you up all night, or worse, a seriously sick child with no cure?  You can sit down too. Anyone with an elderly parent or grandparent whose health is failing can also sit down. If you yourself are sick or are having medical issues, sit down too. Of course if you have been diagnosed with a chronic or terminal illness go ahead and take your chair.  Perhaps you live with chronic pain?  Sit.  Custody battle?  Please take a load off.  Bankruptcy?  Here’s your seat. Have you ever lost a good friend far too young?  Maybe a family member has passed before their time?  You guessed it – sit. Now, look around the room and tell me how many people are still standing. I am betting ZERO.  Including you. 

Think about this the next time you find yourself upset with someone who is being rude, or who messed up your order in drivethru, or simply cut you off in traffic:  Everybody has a history and if you have only one brief, fleeting encounter with that person you have no way of knowing what’s happened in their life to get them to that moment. I have seen the sweetest, most caring people in the world find themselves in a low place from time to time and I guarantee that if you only met them at that point in their life you may not realize how special that person really is.  They say you should walk a mile in someone else shoes, but you really don’t need to – just remember that EVERYONE has some pretty heavy shoes to wear once in a while.

Please share if you think we could use a little more empathy in this world.  😊

background:  Recently my brother in law and his wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  This little bundle of joy gave us all a scare by deciding to come into the world prematurely, resulting in some hectic road trips and unintentional hospital stays.  Some of you may know that 21 years ago our daughter was also born premature and put us through some adventures before coming home too so we had a pretty good understanding of what the parents were going through.  This is a little bit different for the blog, but the following is the letter I wrote to them and I have been asked to share it here. Little baby Lincoln  is doing wonderfully. 😊

“I remember when our little Kirsten was born early.  She was also right around 5 pounds and her little lungs also weren’t quite up to the task of being called into service ahead of schedule. I remember the absolute joy of seeing her for the first time, quickly followed by the anguish of having her whisked away from us. I had no idea what the next few months would bring:  victories that brought tears of joy followed by setbacks that made me scream “why??”.  Emergency flights to Vancouver.   The unbearable heartache of being sent home for Christmas without being able to bring her with us.  The helpless feeling knowing that I had to put all of my hopes and dreams in the doctors hands.  I remember the pain of watching her in a little oxygen chamber, unable to hold her, unable to make it all better.  As a parent it feels like your only job is to make your baby safe, and here I stood on the very first day, the very first shift of my new task and I couldn’t do it.  I was helpless.  I was failing at the only job that mattered at that point.  But it turns out I wasn’t failing.  Just staying strong and believing that everything would be alright was it’s own victory.  The job description had temporarily changed for a while is all.  And when that little ray of sunshine does break free of the clouds she will shine brighter than you ever imagined possible.
Wishing you all the best and know that we are here for you guys for anything you may need.
Love Marty”